


Once upon a december

by shaardom



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Introspection, Other, i love nina a lot okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaardom/pseuds/shaardom
Summary: Nina watches Anastasia for the third time since the beginning of the week, for the sake of hearing a song. It makes her think, that she should get a hold of herself, that the Dregs didn't bleed for nothing, thatshedidn't leave them behind tomourn.





	Once upon a december

_"Dancing bears, painted wings..."_

The Queen of Mourning wondered why she kept inflicting such mental pain to herself. She had watched the movie three times this week already, for the sake of listening to this short song. The lost princess Anastasia, dancing with the ghosts of her past. Listening to it without the plot behind will not make sense, for some reason. She was not one for crying though. Maybe she did, the first time.

But you know the drill : no mourners. No funerals.

_"Things I almost remember / and a song / someone sings, once upon a december."_

The animated princess' voice end up in the background of her thoughts. She has to move on. She's young and witty. After all the moral atrocitieq she witnessed or even experienced, this didn't sound like a betrayal. Matthias and her were not married, for Djel's sake. For the Saints'. For Ghezen's. For whatever they believed in.

_"Someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm..."_

She pulled the blanket on her shoulders and sunk deeper in the soft cushions of the sofa. When she gave it a second, less subjective thought, it was the best ending they could have wished for. Matthias would never have lived at peace with himself while being a traitor— even for the good cause. He was spared a great deal of struggles.

That's what dealing with Kaz Brekker does to people, she thought with a bitter amusement. It strips you from feelings. _Weaknesses,_ he'd say. She had no right to be weak right now. They didn't restlessly put their lives at stake for her to end up like this. The misunderstandings punctuating thekr relationships were nothing to regret as well. Just like everything else— it's over now.

_"Figures dancing gracefully, across my memories."_

This line always struck a cord. Because of the Wraith, obviously. She still owed her a stack of waffles. Or two. Maybe she could start a small business while waiting for the odds to intertwine their paths again. That will be something to talk about.

Nina clearly isn't defined by her love interests. Her relationship with Matthias was a big part of her life, though. Before even thinking of finding someone else, she wanted to get a stable position again. Otherwise, any other attempt for a relationship will fail miserably. Although she definitely won't lock her heart to unexpected luck.

This song wanted to make her dance. She'd spin around in a simple dress, with Kaz, Jesper, Inej and Wylan. They were kings and queens, weren't they ? They earned this title. They bled for it. They suffered, body and soul.

_"Far away, long ago / glowing as dim as an ember..."_

She'll have them watch it too. Because it's a good one. Even if the memory of Matthias will be brought up by the movie's setting. After all, you don't get rid of a wound by denying it's existence, do you ? It will heal faster as she embraced the pain and learned to live with it. Nothing will make up for the loss. Ever.

_"Things my heart used to know; "_

Which it will not forget anytime soon, hopefully.

_"Things it yearns to remember..."_

Well, a mere movie can't be fully accurate, she thought for the fifth time. It is saddenning enough that she can relate.

_"And a song / someone sings..."_

The last words left her plum lips as a tiny whisper. It wasn't a goodbye, nor a farewell. She failed at following their guidelines, twice. Matthias had at least a mourner. He had funerals, too.

But she swore to do him a favor and move on. Be happy, by herself or someone else's side as long as she didn't sacrifice her independance.

_"Once upon a december."_


End file.
